What Women REALLY Need to Know About Loving Men and Raising Boys with Dr. Joe Martin
In This Episode…
- Real Men Connect (2:45)
- Dr. Joe's story and definition of a real man vs. a male (5:45)
- Why males fail to mature and the challenges they face (12:14)
- What it takes to be real man (18:48)
- What women really need to know about the men they're in relationships with (26:25)
- What single moms should do when they are raising boys (36:57)
Ways to Listen to this Episode:
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When a male is born, it's only when they have the tools to succeed in life can they be called real men.
"No good man can become a great man without the help of a GODLY man." - Dr. Joe Martin
One of the biggest challenges males face is that they don't know what we're doing. They are ignorant because they don't know what they don't know! It's assumed they should know how to love women, meet their needs, to take care of our families and lead them, but if they don't have the blueprint, then they make up things as we go along.
Where and from whom a man gets advice and encouragement is more important than his good looks, his income, or educational accomplishments.
Another issue is pride; males don't know how to ask a man for help. Then there's apathy-- when males get so frustrated that they give up and say "I don't care anymore."
Males also have a lack of commitment. They will start something and not finish it.
Males struggle with priority.
A real man:
- Leads his family spiritually.
- Loves and serves others sacrificially.
- Leaves a legacy of faith for future generations.
- Teach other men how to do all of the above.
**A woman can encourage a man, but only a man can affirm another man.
Things women need to know about the men they love:
- Their self-worth and identity comes from their ability to provide for you. If they can't, they will act out.
- They need to know and believe that they can satisfy and make you happy in all areas, not just sexually. He needs to know that he's good enough for you. If he doesn't feel that he's pleasing you, he is susceptible to wandering elsewhere to someone who boosts his ego--even she is not as attractive as you.
- They need to know that they can be vulnerable around you without seeming weak, and without you losing respect for him. A woman can a safe place for him to fall, because his pride and ego say that to another man he might seem weak to share his feelings.
- A man is only as strong as the stronger men he has in his life. You can't count on a man who doesn't have accountability. Make sure you meet the men he is accountable to, so you know who is influencing him. If he doesn't have accountability from a strong man, don't compromise--he is not ready for you.
What You Can Do
When you're dating a man, you should ask yourself where he got his values from, and who he is listening to and learning from. Did he have a strong father or father figure in his life to mentor him? Who does he talk to when he needs advice or encouragement?
Never say to a man, "Be a man," "act like a man," or man up," because that will emasculate him.
If you are the single mother with a son, recruit a man for your son to be his mentor from your community-- it could be in your neighborhood or in your church for example. Observe men as they are with their families, and observe how his children and wife respond to him. Do his children respect him? Does his wife treat him with love and care? If so, he might be a candidate. He can fake success at work if he wants to, but he can't fake success with his own family.
Ladies, have good expectations of men. If you give him a crown, he'll act like a king. If he sees what he can be, then he'll live up to what he should be.
Gentlemen, if you want to become a good man, then humble yourself and ask for help.
It's not your fault if you weren't taught, but once you know better, you should do better.
Connect with My Guest
Joe Martin, Ed.D. Founder & Creator, Real Men Connect
Links and Resources
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