Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? [Part 1]



In This Episode…

  • The four different levels/categories of friendship, and how to distinguish between them

  • How to let go of a friendship you have outgrown •    How to cultivate existing friendships that you want to maintain

  • The best way to reach out to someone new (or an acquaintance) to pursue or deepen a friendship

(Note: Part 1 and Part 2 cover the same content with two different guests.  Some information is repeated for the show notes of both, with unique guest information and podcast links.)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player to listen/download the episode from this page (see Links and Resources below)

  2. Listen on iTunes or Stitcher (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

Key Points

Don’t feel guilty about letting an old friend go. You can still love someone even if you no longer like them.

If you find yourself forcing interactions or feeling obligated to be around someone you really don’t vibe with anymore, continuing to do so will suck the joy out of what friendship is all about. Respect that you in a different place in your life than this person [than you used to be].  Feeling obligated now can lead to feelings of resentment with this person later. Be honest about where you are.

People want to connect. But understand that saying, “We should get together soon” is NOT a plan to get together, but just an expression of a desire to hang out.

Action is key: if you don’t do it, it won’t happen.

What You Can Do

Learn how to “ride parallel” with your friends who have hectic schedules or families of their own.

When you miss your friends or are in the mood to be social, then schedule a lunch, outing or event with them on your phone.

Call a friend during your long commute, when you will have time to catch up.

If you want to get to know a friendly acquaintance better, ask them out--just like you would for a romantic date. Suggest a specific thing to do together--it can be as simple as lunch or a movie.

Connect with My Guest

Allen Wagner, Licensed Family/Marriage Therapist Website

Links and Resources

7 Ways to Make New Friends as an Adult Because It’s Not as Easy as it Sounds by Teresa Newsome

Do You Filter Your Relationships? You Probably Should by Donald Miller

Frenemies No More: How to Deal with Friends Who Have Hurt You by Daree Allen

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Note: This is an affiliate link. Using it helps offset costs incurred to produce this show. Thank you for supporting the Kickin’ It with Daree podcast!)